引自"技安"的 blog...很有共鳴
一個女孩子在電郵上說，她和相戀四年的男朋友分手，
因為她愛上了另一個男人，可惜這個男人很花心，
她只是他其中一個女朋友，她愛得很辛苦，卻捨不得放手。
她問自己，放棄一個很愛她的男人而去愛一個不愛他的男人，這是錯的嗎？
她放棄一個很愛他的男人，但她不愛他，既然如此，何必後悔？
你不愛他，他多麼愛你，他待你多麼好，他的條件多麼的優秀，也是徒然的。
自己不要的東西，為什麼還要可惜呢？
既然你甘心情願放棄，你就沒資格可惜。
他曾是那麼慷慨地等待你，他本來是你的，你自己選擇不要，
那就永遠不要可惜，反正你對他已經沒有以往的感覺。
世上有很多東西是可以挽回的，譬如良知，譬如體重，
但是不可挽回的東西更多，譬如舊夢，譬如歲月，譬如對一個人的感覺。
你曾經愛過他，但是那份感覺已經逝去了，無論多麼努力也是無法挽回的。
放棄一個很愛你的人並不痛苦；放棄一個你很愛的人，那才痛苦；
愛上一個不愛你的人，那是同樣痛苦。
也許你還年輕，等你年老一點，你就不會那麼笨，
放棄一個愛你的人而去愛一個不愛你的人，
那時你已經沒有太多青春去追尋一個遙不可及的夢。
*************************************************
我仍然愛他, 但是時侯放棄了.
2 comments:
hey, is this "技安" a writer? not jeff lau is it..
anyway, i agree that love is not an "on/off" switch. if our brains and hearts were that simple, the pharmaceutical companies won't be so rich (haha!!)
all this waxing lyrical about painful loves...they're so common in chinese writing, like in women's column, lifestyle section of newspapers, magazines, etc. i always felt there's a degree of (unnecessary) romanticism about them. you know, the bittersweet stuff makes for good writing subjects: suffering for impulsive desires, holding onto inexplicable or unreasonable cost/reward in relationships, like those forlorn, demure, loyal women passed down in stories.
sure we can be "stupid" about love in real life, but we CAN use our heads to rule our heart. or at least put up a fight for it. the woman in 技安's writing obviously made a choice to accept getting back less than what she gives out. so it's a decision she has to live with. not everybody has to choose that. with every choice you win some and lose something else.
sorry for rambling. just one last thought, maybe it'd be a nice tribute to yourself, if you change the "failed" in blog title to something more positive. you don't deserve to beat up on yourself anymore - as far as i can tell, you're dealing with the crap someone thoughtlessly dumped in your lap. you're already being a saint trying to pick up the broken pieces instead of giving up. so give yourself credit. you are an impressive, kind, loving, amazing, strong human being.
rock on brenda!!
Wow, for the 1st time I have a lister (someone I don't know) beside my family members, friends or co-worker.
I am shocked and very touching with the what you wrote on the last paragraph. My tears started to come down on my face.
Just because of what you told. I will stay strong for my two sons.
I am not sure about the positive thinking yet. I guess after being loved for 12 years you need sometime to heal your heart and soul.
THANKS FOR LISTENING. ^_^
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