Why so hard on me?

I am just try to make up what I own my sons by not giving them a complete family to grow up.
I am just try to restart my life over.
Why I always be the one to give him choices?
Why I have to be the one that suffer? Why they need to be scare when we fight?

I am so unhappy and I can't find a way out.
I just want some time to be alone, by myself at my home. Why is that a lot to ask?
How can that be selfish? How can that be not care about my sons?
Why I have to leave my house because he can't provide a place for them to spent the day?
Where can I go? I have no friends. I can't go to my family coz I am scare, embarrass of my divorce. Where did he wants me to go? Where can I go?
All I have left is this house, my two sons and my dignity.

May be I can never forget how my marriage is ruin, how everyone else but me can be happy again and do whatever they want.
I am done here. I don't want to deal with him ever again. I am really tired. I am done with this man. I am being hurt enough. I don't want to know and I don't care. If I had a choice, I will end it so nobody will be hurt, not even my two sons.