911 and me

It will just be one of billions post in today's blogs world about September 11.
I was in Chicago, Illinois when this happened. I dropped the baby down to my baby sitter and went to work. I remember I just start that new job for about one month. Everything was so new to me, including co-workers, no friends at all.
I saw the 2nd plane hit the building on TV, I was speechless. The only thing in my mind was - I must let my husband know that we are ok in US. I can't let him worried about us. However, phones were not working, so as email. We finally get to contact each other later at night. I has tears in my eyes ( I cries easy) but that was real tears from I still have my family although apart but alive.
But look at today, 5 years later. Things changed so as people mind and heart.
My husband don't love me anymore. He met someone at work about 2 years ago, from friendship to betrayal on our marriages (yes, she has a husband too).
We struggled to save our marriage for about 1 years. I know he is not committed to save our marriage. I lost him forever.

As of now, we are separated and waiting to divorce.
It hurts so bad. I had enough on his lies and wrong accuse of me.
I need to be strong for my 2 sons.
I choose to leave him for good, but I felt guilt for my sons. I still do.